In 2008, I made one of the biggest and best decisions of my life. I met the girl of my dreams, and immediately knew that she was the girl I was going to marry. And this is the story of our engagement.
The Missionary Kid Office of the Assemblies of God grants a certain amount of free trips for Missionary Kid's (MK) to go see their parents on the mission field. Bethany had one last trip to use, and she decided that she was going to use it to see her parents for Christmas in Togo West Africa. She was so excited that she was going to be able to be in Togo with her parents.
Bethany and I had been dating for 3 months when she asked me to go with her to Togo. I immediately said yes. I had never been out of the US before, and knew that this was my chance to go International. So, I began to raise the money. Bethany's dad, Bernie, also asked me if I could do some photography and video work for him while I was there, and this trip quickly became a missions trip.
A few months before leaving for Togo, Bethany and I began to talk about the possibility of getting married. We even went ring shopping so that Bethany could give me some idea as to what kind of ring she wanted. We talked about getting married. Bethany was still unsure about it, but I knew that she was the girl for me. During this time, Bethany told me that she would automatically say "No" if I asked her to marry me in front of anyone. She wanted it to be special and romantic.
A week before we left for Togo, Bethany began to pack. She had 4 trunks to pack with supplies and Christmas presents people wanted to send to the Missionaries in Togo. So while she was busy with that, I went and bought the ring she wanted. And hid it in the one place I knew she would never find it… in my camera bag. I also made a little box for it to go in with a couple of card saying that I wanted to marry her.
On December 18th, it was time to start the 24 hour trip to Togo. We drove from Springfield Missouri 3.5 hours to St. Louis Missouri to get on the plain. At the air port, we checked in all of our luggage, and all we had on us were our carry on bags. Bethany had a small suit case with an extra set of clothes for each of us in case our luggage didn't make it, and I had my camera bag. When it came time to go through TSA, I placed my camera bag in the bucket, and slid it through the x-ray machine. The lady running the x-ray machine stopped on my bag, and looked at it really hard. It seemed as if they were going to search my camera bag, and I got nervous. I was so afraid that they were going to take everything out of my camera bag, including the ring, so that Bethany could see it. After what seemed like 5 minutes they finally slid my camera bag through the line, the lady shot me a look and smiled as if she knew what I was going to do in Togo.
After getting through TSA everything went smoothly. We boarded the first plain and flew from St. Louis to New York. Then we had a layover before we boarded the second plain in New York. 8.5 hours later we landed in Accra Ghana, where we met up with Bethany's parents. After getting all of our luggage we began the 4 hour drive from Accra Ghana to Lomé Togo.
When we arrived at the West African Advanced School of Theology (WAAST) and got settled in, Bernie asked me if I wanted to preach in a local church while I was there. I jumped on this opportunity, and spent the entire day on Saturday December 20th studying to preach in a local church. I think Bernie knew what was going on and wanted to test me and see if I was worthy or not. This is when I started to get nervous.
On Sunday December 21, I preached in a small Togolese church called "Jesu Komé." That day 12 people accepted Jesus as their Lord God and Savior that day. I was more nervous that day than any other day of my life. After eating at Pastor Agba's (the Senior Pastor of Jesu Komé) house, we went back to WAAST for siesta. Later that night after attending service at the WAAST Church, I asked if I could speak to Bernie. By this time my hands were all shaky and sweaty, and my voice started doing that nervous cracking thing that made me sound like a prepubescent teenager again. Bernie and I went to his office, and I opened up my camera bag and started digging through it. Then I pulled out the box with the cards I had made and the ring, and showed them to Bernie. I said "Bernie, with your permission, I would like to ask for your daughters hand in marriage?" Bernie sat there for a second then asked "When do you want to ask her?" I replied "I want to ask her on Christmas day." "OK" Bernie said, "I knew this might be coming. Let me talk to Brenda (Bethany's mom), pray, and think about it for a while." Then we left Bernie's office and joined Bethany and Brenda in the living room.
The next day, I waited all day for Bernie's answer. The answer never came. On Tuesday December 23rd, I waited for Bernie to give me the answer. But once again no answer. On Christmas Eve, I really got nervous. I waited all day for Bernie to give me his answer. I was almost to the freaking out point. Then finally, about 10 minutes before we sat down for dinner, Bernie pulled me aside to the corner of the room. "You have my blessing" he said. I did
everything I could to keep from jumping and yelling with how excited I was. So I smiled at Bernie and thanked him.
After dinner on Christmas Eve, we opened Christmas presents. Bethany and her parents surprised me with some really cool gifts. I think Bernie and Brenda were expecting me to propose to Bethany while we were opening our Christmas presents, but I didn't. I felt kinda bad that I didn't have another gift to give Bethany. Now, Bernie says that if he would have know that I didn't have another gift for Bethany he would have made me sweat a little longer.
Hours passed by that night. I was getting really nervous and anxious. It seemed like those few hours were days. But finally, at 12:03 am (Togo time) on Christmas Day, I couldn't wait any longer. Bethany and I were sitting on the couch talking, and I reached in my pocket and gave her the box I had made with the cards inside it. She started pulling out the cards one at a time and read them. They said "Bethany Joy, you are my best friend, the girl of my dreams, and the girl I have fallen in love with, will you…, Marry Me?" As she read the last card, I got down on my knee beside her, and opened up a box to show her the ring she wanted. "Bethany Joy Smith" I said, "You are my best friend, the girl of my dreams, and the girl I have fallen in love with. Will you Marry me?" As Bethany was fighting back the tears, she smiled real big and said "Yes!"
Later that day, we went to the Christmas Service at WAAST Chapel. And later that day Bernie and Brenda announced our engagement to the other missionaries at WAAST during the Missionaries Christmas Party.
On Sunday service on December 28th, Pastor John Bonde, had Bethany and I stand and he announced our engagement to the entire WAAST Chapel. Then Pastor Bonde said that I owed Bethany's dad a dowry of 100 Cows, and that Bernie need to tithe his 10% to the church. Bernie said that I could pay him in the form of Hamburgers and Steaks when they came back to the states for our wedding.
Its been 2 years since I proposed to Bethany at her parents house in Togo West Africa. We have been married now for one and a half years.
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